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My parents divorced a week after my birth. My dad was suspicious because I wasn’t a redhead like my older siblings. After their divorce, my dad was not present in my life at all. I never knew my biological father. When I was five, my mom married my stepdad. They dated for a year before he was convicted of murdering a man who looked at her. She married him in 1978 while he was in prison on murder charges.

He was released after three years, and we all moved in together. From nine to fifteen, my stepfather molested me. I ran away to my grandmother’s because my mom and siblings didn’t believe me, but my grandma did. My mom blamed me for the abuse. I was only 9 years old, but I still remember how I felt when my mom didn’t believe me. It was shortly after this that I started smoking weed and taking pills. I was so hurt, and I wanted to escape from all the painful feelings I had inside.

In 1986, at the age of sixteen, I met Tony, who pursued me for three months before I agreed to go out with him. After our first date, I found my belongings left by the roadside; my mom and stepdad disapproved of Tony because he was black. Tony then put me in a motel for a week and helped me find a house. He was a great provider, and we were happy and settled in good jobs. However, I developed a love for marijuana, which he intensely disliked. I became pregnant at nineteen and had our son. In 1993, when I was twenty-three, our daughter was born. Life was stable, but I continued to smoke weed. In November 2002, Tony gave me an ultimatum to quit. When I didn’t, I moved out to live with my uncle. Tony kept our children and refused to let them move with me. My kids were 13 and 9 at the time.

My first experience in jail occurred on December 25, 2002, when I was charged with aggravated assault with a vehicle. I had gone to Tony’s house to see our kids and discovered that he was having an affair. Since moving out, we had continued to work on our relationship and discussed plans to get back together. Upset, I left, drank heavily, and used cocaine and meth for the first time.

Afterward, I returned and found that the woman he was with had taken our children. I followed Tony in my car, demanding that he make her return them until he went into a neighbor’s house. I then left but later returned to find that he had called the police. I was arrested and subsequently convicted of allegedly assaulting him with my car, even though I never made contact. I was released in May 2003. The relationship between Tony and I ended. He kept our children.

Not long after, I got involved with Troy, and that’s when my meth addiction began. I bought some from a customer where I used to work, and I shared it with Troy. It was his first time trying it, and it was when my drug addiction took a turn for the worse. We both became addicted to meth and enjoyed it.

I was arrested again on possession charges. I was required to report to the Daily Reporting Center (DRC) and was involved in several probation violation arrests, the last occurring on April 10, 2024. At that time, I was living with my adult children. Despite being clean for eight months, my kids smoked weed at home, which the DRC was aware of. Typically, lower retest levels would help avoid an arrest. However, they smoked in the car with me before my last test in April. To lower my levels for the test, I drank excessive amounts of water, which resulted in an abnormal reading that seemed suspicious. Instead of receiving a promised retest, I was arrested and informed that I would face 18 months in prison.

Fortunately, the chaplain offered a faith-based rehab option after I expressed my seriousness about getting help. Two days later, I contacted the Rescue Mission for assistance.

On June 14, 2024, I arrived at the Rescue Mission, and by June 20, 2024, I was saved and baptized. I have always known who God is, but I didn’t fully grasp the depth of His love for me until I came to this place. My journey with Him has been incredible.

I’ve grown significantly since my first day in the program, and my children have noticed the change in me. They tell me that I’m not the same person anymore. I feel good about myself, and I love myself more than ever before.

One of the most important tools I’ve learned here is how to set boundaries. I’ve discovered how to love Jesus, and I genuinely believe that He loves me in return.

After I graduate, I plan to stay connected with the Mission, participate in Celebrate Recovery, stay involved with my church, and, most importantly, maintain my relationship with God. I’m going home, but I want to give back to my community. I plan to use my home and the resources I’ve been given to help others who are struggling or trying to get back on their feet. If possible, I would love to work for the Mission. I will continue to walk with the Lord and share His message with as many people as I can.